The True Meaning of Kranice
by Elements of the Psyche
Summary: Upon observing the Holy Day that the Smashers celebrate, and noticing the strange, seemingly spontaneous activities involved, Mewtwo decides to try to figure out what in the world is going on here. So, he decides to ask the other Smashers. Big mistake.


The True Meaning of Christmahanukice

Chrysa: Before we begin, we do hope nobody's going to be offended by this. We didn't include Kwanzaa, since I read somewhere that Kwanzaa was not to be mixed with other holidays. But my basic point is: please don't be offended.

Eot: And on a side note, Christmahannukice is Christmas, Hanukah, and Solstice.

Disclaimationer: I do not ownSuper Smash Brothers Meleeor any other registered trademarks of Nintendo etc. There may be some other mentions of characters or characteristics belonging to other companies. Please bear in mind that this is a non-profitable work of fiction. I will not be held responsible for copyright infringement. Original characters, ideas of this story, the Disclaimationer and the characters' characteristics in this story are currently mine. All similarities to other characters, whether fictional or non-fictional,are purely coincidental. By reading through this disclaimer, you have withheld all lawsuits against me regarding this piece of fiction. Thank you.

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Mewtwo was in a bad mood.

That's not too surprising, since anybody would be in a bad mood if they were in his situation. After all, he was surrounded by inferior imbeciles, and being trapped there didn't help one bit.

But this was for another reason.All sortsof oddities had been happening,and Mewtwo couldn't make head or tail of the situation.

Link and Zelda were trying to set up a giant tree; trying and failing because Mario and Luigi were lighting candles underneath the tree.

Everybody seemed to be in a festive mood, except for the odd exceptions of Jigglypuff, Pichu, Pikachu, Fox, and Falco, who had solemnly gathered around a huge fire surrounded by skulls. Of this, Mewtwo thought it better not to speculate.

Mind-reading techniques didn't work too well, either, since the people around either had strong mental barriers, or simply had no mind to read (which was far more common).

And so, Mewtwo was in a bad mood.

He decided first to meditate, and ignore the happenings around him, but when Mario and Luigi lit a candle underneath him, he knew what he had to do.

_Grr...Well, I may as well figure out what the fuss is about._ Mewtwo located the closest Smasher (besides Mario and Luigi; he didn't want to talk to them yet), and teleported to him.

_Now, you inferior, worthless being, _Mewtwo mentally hissed, _What's going on here?_

"Yoshi!" the Smasher happily responded.

As the green dinosaur bounded away, Mewtwo reminded himself that most Smashers had the mentality and thought patterns of Yoshi anyways, and that using his eyes would be a lot more helpful.

Seeking the next Smasher, he floated over and prepared himself to repeat the process.

_Now, you inferior, worthless being,_ Mewtwo mentally hissed, _What's going on here?_

"Yoshi!" the Smasher happily responded.

_Roy, why are you acting like Yoshi?_

"Shh!" Roy's eyes darted back and forth suspiciously. "If they think I'm one of them, I'll _become_ one of them! That's my Kranice resolution!"

As the red swordsman stealthily bounded away, Mewtwo made the connection quickly, and racked his brains for the definition of Kranice.

Kranice: "Smashers' Holy Day" The abbreviated form of Christmahanukice.

_Turn a couple of pages and…_

Christmahanukice: "Smashers' Holy Day" The elongated form of Kranice

_Lovely…_Mewtwo growled. _Hmph, I'll have to investigate into this…Kranice, then._

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Mewtwo found his next targets closely examining beakers of some unidentifiable liquid. Calmly floating over, he began preparing himself for his usual hiss.

_Now, you inferrr, ah forget it, what is this Kranice you humans speak of?_

Dr. Mario looked up in surprise, "Mewtwo, you don't-a know what-a Kranice is?"

Donkey Kong, who was also in a lab coat, protested, "Mewtwo (grunt), (series of grunts) no know (grunt) all (grunt) banana."

Fortunately, Mewtwo had long ago grasped the complexities of the Kong language, and translated in his head into, "_Well, venerable doctor, though Mewtwo's breadth of knowledge is quite profound, it would be a severe overestimation on our parts if we were to assume that it encompassed everything! For instance, I hardly expect him to know every species of banana on this world._"

"Yes, but something that-a Mewtwo doesn't-a know is-a, how you say, a surprise-a," Dr. Mario countered. "and I wish-a that you wouldn't-a compare everything to a banana."

"_Can I truly resist the temptations of the potassium-enriched fruit? Shall I recite to you a poem written in its honor? Oh peel of yellow, fruit of beige…"_

_Never mind_, Mewtwo growled as he floated away.

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He soon came across a burning tree, which he could only assume to be the work of Mario and Luigi. After closer examination, it seemed that Mario and Luigi were indeed there next to the tree, along with Princess Peach.

"This is fun!" Princess Peach exclaimed.

"Yes, it is-a," Mario snickered. "Yes, it is-a."

_I will most definitely regret this_, Mewtwo thought as he floated over.

_You! Pathetic, inferior pyromaniac! What is the meaning of your so-called Kranice?_

"Well-a," Mario began, but Luigi immediately cut in, "Hey! I'm-a going to field-a this one."

"Is-a that so?"

"What you going to do-a?

"Let's-a go!"

As the two brothers began fighting over absolutely nothing, Peach turned to Mewtwo with a blank stare and exclaimed, "This is fun!"

Fortunately for Mewtwo, he did know teleportation.

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Having had absolutely no target, since he simply wished to get the heck out of there, Mewtwo found himself in a strange place.

He saw hearts and flowers everywhere, and in the middle was Bowser dressed in some eccentric red costume, dancing in a circle with a group of koopas.

"Kranice is a time for joy!

Fun for all the girls and boys!"

Mewtwo thought he would sustain a permanent scar.

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This time teleporting to the darkest energy he could find, Mewtwo let out a sigh of relief. This turned into an exasperated groan when he saw Ganondorf and Captain Falcon squatting in the darkness.

"Ah, Mewtwo," Ganondorf chuckled evilly, "How nice of you to join us in our plans to STEAL KRANICE!"

"Yes," chortled Falcon evilly. "That we shall!"

_First, how did you get Captain Falcon to do this?_ Mewtwo queried.

"Captain Falcon?" Falcon giggled in rage. "I'm _Blood_ Falcon, see?" He showed Mewtwo the skull insignia on his back.

_I see…Now then,_ Mewtwo continued, for he had just gotten a wonderful idea, _How are you going to steal Kranice?_

"Isn't it obvious?" Ganondorf guffawed. "We'll take their presents!"

_Presents?_

"Yeah!" Falcon cackled in agreement. "There are always presents being given around, but not this year! Ha, ha, ha!"

"Hee, hee, hee!"

_Interesting…Thank you for your cooperation, and good luck on your operations,_ Mewtwo projected as he teleported out of sight.

"Off he goes!"

"Ho, ho, ho!"

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Deliberately ignoring Fox and Falco for concern for his well-being, his next target turned out to be none other than the little psychic-in-training.

"Hey, Mewtwo!" greeted Ness. "How ya doin?"

_Why do you have that absurd costume on?_ Mewtwo questioned.

"Why, it's Halloween!" chirped Ness.

_Hallow's Eve ended two months ago, Ness._

"Aw man!" groaned Ness, tossing down his hat in frustration.

Mewtwo chose his words carefully, and continued, _But why are you dressed all in pink?_

"Actually," grinned Ness sheepishly. "I thought it was St. Valentine's Day."

Mewtwo floated away in irritation.

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Next on Mewtwo's list was the famed bounty hunter Samus. Mewtwo could breathe easily now. Samus was far more competent than most of the other Smashers, and could surely provide some insight to his problem.

_Samus,_ Mewtwo began, but then thought.

If Mewtwo were to ask a competent person like Samus a question, she would never let it go again, and that would be a blemish on his highly esteemed reputation!

_…you are nothing but an inferior, pathetic, and absolutely worthless being, whose mind could not possibly match up to my own. And I certainly wasn't about to contradict this inferiority by asking you a question. Ha!_ Mewtwo finished triumphantly and teleported away.

Samus cocked her head, "What was that about?"

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Once again, Mewtwo considered hitting himself for teleporting without target. However, luckily, he only ended up with Popo, Nana, and Young Link this time.

The three were sitting in front of a fireplace, apparently waiting for something.

Actually, it was all too clear that they were waiting for something, considering they already set up sleeping bags and food.

After considering briefly how many fires this place has, Mewtwo decided to ask them the inevitable, _What are you waiting for?_

Popo looked back and said, "KranaClaus," before turning back to the fireplace.

_Who?_

Nana turned to Mewtwo, "Don't tell me you've never heard of KranaClaus!"

_I'm afraid_, Mewtwo replied irritably, _that I've never been acquainted with this fellow_.

All three were facing him now, all with faces of eager anticipation.

Popo began, "Well, there's this magical man named KranaClaus, and he comes at Kranice every year to drop off presents for the good kids, and coal for the bad kids!"

Nana continued, "He rides his sleigh in the sky pulled by magical reindeer, and jumps into the chimney, quietly sneaking in and placing a present down."

Young Link picked up, "And he takes any milk and cookies that we leave out as a small payment in return."

The three finished in unison, "And we're waiting for him!"

Mewtwo took a moment to consider this, which was very rare, mind you.

_So,_ Mewtwo projected at last. _Let me get this straight. He stalks you the entire year to figure out whether you've been good or bad. He then takes endangered species and forces them to work. He takes certain inhalants to believe he can fly, and drops into your chimney, essentially breaking into your house. He leaves a mysterious, possibly dangerous package in your house, and takes your food?_

The children didn't know what all of the words meant, but they replied, "Yep!" anyways.

_Disgusting…_Mewtwo thought as he floated away.

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"What's the matter, Mewtwo?"

Mewtwo didn't notice where he was going, and noticed Fox walking alongside him.

_I've just heard a most disturbing tale. _

"Ah," Fox nodded knowingly. "The story of KranaClaus?"

Mewtwo turned to him, _Yes, how did you know?_

Fox looked back and forth, whispered, "Alright, I think we can trust you," and grabbed Mewtwo's wrist, activating some device at the same time.

Instantly, they found themselves near a roaring fire, and the eerily lit faces of Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, and Falco surrounded it.

Fox sat next to Falco, and whispered into his ear. Falco nodded, and repeated the process with Jigglypuff, who did the same with Pikachu, who passed the message to Pichu.

Pichu finally rose, "Pichu pi, pichu pi pi pichu. Pichu pichu chu pichu pii!"

Of course Mewtwo translated this easily, "_It is decided then. As chief of the tribe, I welcome Mewtwo_!"

_Tribe?_ Mewtwo wondered. He attempted to use some mind-reading techniques on Pichu, but found that Pichu had set up a mental barrier that rivaled his own, though he would never admit it.

"_Ha!"_ Pichu laughed. "_Nice try, Mewtwo, but I am far more powerful than any of you ever knew. And now, now that Kranice has come at last, I am able to summon my demonic powers and overthrow all of the humans! Now then, if you want to join us, I suggest not doing that again._"

"It is not wise to disobey the great chief," Falco uttered with a blank face.

"Great Chief Pichu, Great Chief Pichu," the others chanted.

_I have no intention of joining you,_ Mewtwo began, but was cut short.

"_Then you must die!_" declared Pichu.

Fox, Falco, Pikachu, and Jigglypuff all prepared to attack. The four leapt and began to fight immediately.

As Pichu watched the four fight amongst themselves while Mewtwo was nowhere in sight, Pichu thought to himself, _I need better lackeys_.

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Mewtwo looked around at his surroundings this time, and was greatly relieved to see Link and Zelda sitting at the table sipping drink out of their steaming mugs.

He was less relieved when he saw Kirby with his eyes closed, seemingly in a meditative stance, chanting something to himself, that sounded remarkably like, "Poyopoyopoyopoyopoyo."

Mewtwo flicked his tail towards Kirby and asked the two Hylians, _What's he doing?_

Link looked over briefly, "Oh, he's preparing for Kranice…in his way, of course."

Mewtwo didn't want to ask the question—not such a simple question, not in front of them!—but at last, he could bear it no longer.

_Coincidentally_, Mewtwo began, but could not finish. _Coincidentally…_

"Why is he doing that?" Zelda suggested.

_Er, yes…_Mewtwo responded, happy that a more ambiguous question was available, angry that he did not think of it.

"Well, you know how some animals hibernate in the winter and stock up on food before hand?" Link made an offhand gesture. "Kirby's the exact opposite."

_So he plans on a great feast this Kranice?_

"Yes, of course," Zelda replied matter-of-factly. "After all, food is pretty much all that matters to him, and Kranice is a good time for feasting."

"Poyopoyopoyopoyopoyopoyo…"

Mewtwo suddenly thought of another question that could give him another clue, _I saw you setting up that tree earlier today._

Link grinned weakly, "Heh, yeah, that worked well.

"Different places house different traditions," sighed Zelda. "I only wish their tradition did not bear such destructiveness to our own."

As the two returned to their drinks, Mewtwo felt he had accomplished quite a lot, and it was bet not to tempt fate.

He quickly realized there were only two people left that could still give him any hints. Then, he would have to piece them together.

And very oddly, they were at the same place.

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It was getting dark now, Mewtwo noticed, as his next teleportation took him outside the Mansion.

He rapidly slid out of the way of a sword being brought down by the Aritian Prince. Well, he found one. But where was the other?

"Go away, Mewtwo."

Blunt. That was rather unlike him.

Marth sheathed his sword and turned away. What was that glimmering in his eyes. Were those tears?

Yes! In Marth's emotionally unstable state, Mewtwo easily penetrated the human's mental barrier, instantly realizing his pain.

_You miss your home_.

Marth turned to him, "I heard from some of my…colleagues…that you were going around asking the meaning of Kranice."

Blast! Was he that obvious?

"For every person, it means something different, at least, that is my belief. To me, Kranice is a time for deep reflection. Why ask me, though, when you can ask the Master of Kranice himself?"

Master of Kranice? Mewtwo pondered this sudden turn of events. But alas, he could not ponder long, for he was whacked in the head with a two-dimensional bucket.

Suddenly losing all anguish, Marth grabbed Mewtwo by the tail and helped Mr. Game and Watch drag him inside, "He's really not as cunning as we make him out to be, hmm?"

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As Mewtwo's eyes opened, he found himself seemingly in an entirely black place, a void of sorts.

_What is this place?_ He wondered. He could not see anything, could not sense anything. Was this Final Destination? Only there could his mental powers be so drastically subdued. This mystery was soon uncovered, for a blinding light lit the area.

He was in SuperFlatZone.

Of course, logic and mind did not even remotely apply to this world. Hence, his powers are almost useless.

"Welcome to my home, Mewtwo," boomed a mysterious voice from the other edge. Mr. Game and Watch walked out.

"I am Mr. Game and Watch, the Master of Kranice."

Mewtwo was not quite sure whether to laugh, gasp, or do both. In the end, he decided to cough for emphasis, _Excuse me?_

"I am the one you seek, Mewtwo. You see, every Kranice Eve, I slowly gain my powers back. Then, every Kranice Day, I unleash their full might to bring happiness and joy to this world. I am the spirit of Kranice itself."

_I see…_

"And now, Mewtwo," Mr. Game and Watch sat down, which was a most horrifying sight to behold, "Tell me what you have learned."

_Well_, Mewtwo began, _Apparently, during Kranice, some KranaClaus fellow, most likely a drunk or druggie, raids people's houses, plants incriminating evidence, steals their property, and breaks several Animal Protection Laws in the process. Then, people wake up to exchange these packages, hoping to get a lesser of two evils. When all is said and done, they rejoice that nothing has happened to them by having a great feast and setting up trees, which eventually burn down. There is then a rebellion, which can be assumed to be routine, inevitably failing, and everybody reflects on the year._

Mr. Game and Watch laughed, which was a most horrifying sound to be heard, "Haha, Mewtwo, you have it all wrong. Kranice isn't about presents or feasts or "incriminating evidence!" It's about sharing quality time with each other. We do reflect, but on how wonderful the year has been. We rejoice that we are so lucky to be able to go through the day! But most of all, Kranice is about the underappreciated miracles that happen to us everyday, including the miracles that are our friends!"

Mewtwo began to get it, as a light crept into his eyes, _So, Kranice is really all about affection towards others?_

"Indeed!"

_What a pathetic idea for a celebration! It's something only you worthless beings could come up with!_ Mewtwo floated away in disgust.

Epilogue:

Dr. Mario created a wonderful potion that transformed him into SuperMario, although he stopped using it after noticing many dead animals around him every time he transformed back.

Mario was still fighting with Luigi.

Luigi was still fighting with Mario.

Peach, at the Kranice feast, decided to make a speech. It was a noble speech worthy of her title. Her speech? "This is fun!"

Yoshi spent most of Kranice frolicking happily with everybody else, not angry at the least bit that he only got one line. As he happily commented later, "Yoshi!"

Bowser _also_ spent most of Kranice frolicking happily with everybody else, eventually resulting in his capture and suppression.

Donkey Kong composed a wonderful sonnet on bananas, and recited it for all to hear. Sadly, nobody understood a word he said, and everybody had a good laugh.

Captain Falcon was still tied up, after his little tussle with Blood Falcon.

Ganondorf and Blood Falcon never did get to stealing Kranice, since they were too busy laughing.

Fox finally realized his futile position in Pichu's tribe, when

Falco shot Fox in the head for disobeying Chief Pichu, jarring all thoughts of insurrection out of his head.

Samus went on with her usual life, a bit peeved that she only got one line, and more than peeved that she had such an unexceptional Kranice.

Ness finally realized what Holy Day it was, and went outside to look for eggs.

Kirby woke up from his meditation just in time to inhale the entire table that was set up for the feast. Nobody complained, as it was pointless to do so. Kirby fell into hibernation for the second feast to come once more.

Popo and Nana decided to give up looking for KranaClaus, and instead decided to see if they could find the Yeti on Infinite Glacier.

Young Link is still staking out KranaClaus at the fireplace, with a bottle of LonLon Milk in hand.

Link and Zelda tried setting up the tree again. Although Mario and Luigi were fighting, Roy was now burning everything in sight. It is said that Roy now has several burns and arrows inserted into his body.

Sheik was too busy trying to figure out its gender.

Pichu tried to take over the world and failed.

Pikachu tried to prove to Pichu that taking over the world was futile. Disappointed that Pichu wasn't listening, he considered suicide, but decided to have some eggnog instead.

Jigglypuff discovered the meaning of life, which was

Marth looked to the stars some more, then decided to just get as drunk as he can, and joined Pikachu for some eggnog.

Roy never fulfilled his Kranice resolution, and was heartbroken. But then his spirits lifted when he realized, "There's still St. Patrick's Day!"

Mr. Game and Watch was not seen again that day.

KranaClaus, who looked suspiciously two-dimensional and black, was arrested for breaking into others' property, planting of dangerous substances, and theft.

And as for Mewtwo?

Well, Mewtwo was still in a bad mood

'Tis the End!


End file.
